Woman Uninvites Friend From Engagement Party Over Engagement Ring Comment

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mattstaff
Jun 8, 2021 12:00 PM EDT

Weddings undoubtedly have a striking ability to inspire all kinds of otherwise avoidable drama between people. It could be family members that never should've been brought together to be in the same room again. Or, perhaps you have a friendship that goes on to endure a meltdown of sorts over one person's inability to exercise just a bit of a filter. For some more wedding drama check out this quick AITA post about a vegan who wanted a wedding guest's vegan meal, got rejected, and then proceeded to pitch a ridiculous fit. 

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  • 01
    Font - 1 21 e3 S 1 2 AITA for uninviting my friend from my engagement party after she made a rude comment about my ring? Not the A-hole I (27F) got engaged around a month ago to my lovely boyfriend (28M) of six years. My fiance works in the tech industry and makes a very good amount. For our engagement, my fiance ended up picking probably the most perfect ring for me. It was very expensive, however, and he refused to tell me the exact price and just said it was upwards of $40k.
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  • 02
    Font - We plan on holding an engagement party with our closest friends at a lake house next weekend. I've already sent out the invites to my inner circle and all of them have RSVPd saying they could make it, including the friend in question, "Amy". Amy and I met at my work and have been close friends for about four years. However, she is definitely my most complicated friendship. Amy (25F) is a young single mom and has struggled financially. Throughout the years, I have offered a lot of financia
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  • 03
    Font - Last weekend, Amy and I went to brunch and she asked to see my ring. She immediately asked me how much he paid for it and I refused to tell her the amount, just stating that it was probably pretty expensive. Then she said, "It looks like it's at least $50,000...Don't you think it's kind of shitty to spend that much on a ring when even a fifth of that money could've pulled a family out of poverty?" I was frankly shocked when she made that comment. I'm a firm believer that you should never
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  • 04
    Font - After reflecting on the situation, I decided I was not comfortable with Amy coming to the engagement party anymore. It takes me a while to get over rude comments like hers and I just did not want any tension/ unresolved anger at our celebration. I shot her a text explaining how her comments were upsetting to me and how her words were not only demeaning, but disrespectful. As a result, I told her I would no longer feel comfortable with her attending my engagement party. I told her I hope w
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  • 05
    Font - She responded shortly after apologizing for the comment and said how she didn't know it would affect me that much. She promised she'd be better about it and asked me to reconsider the party because she's already bought an outfit and hired a babysitter, and was looking forward to celebrating with me. She also added that if I was going to uninvite her from the party over such a small thing, she'd "misjudged my character." I'll admit, I can be a pushover sometimes. I did immediately feel bad
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  • 06
    Font - 1 Award I can write a lecture about everything wrong with the wedding industry, but there are places I wouldn't bring it up. To a friend who just got their engagement ring is probably not a place to discuss the moralities of how much it cost. Even if Amy had a point she was incredibly tactless about it. I don't think you would be wrong regardless if you gave her another chance or stick to uninviting her because it's your engagement party. NTA. 5 Reply 4 2.4k ..
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  • 07
    Font - materantiqua • 18h 9 Awards I think people are missing the subtext of what's happening here for the most part but let me illuminate since l've had a friend like Amy before. Amy's comment was MEANT to provoke a reaction in OP. She just didn't get the reaction she wanted. This is a friend who accepts financial help from OP constantly. Her comment was meant allude to the fact that spending $50k on a ring means OP (and future spouse) has less money to charitably give to Amy. It was meant to s
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  • 08
    Rectangle - S 10 Awards NTA: She bought an outfit just for a party? Doesn't she know she could have donated that money to a homeless person and bought them food for a week?! /s G Reply 4 7.6k 3 ...
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  • 09
    Font - No_Proposal7628 · 16h NTA. It sounds like Amy is jealous of your better financial situation and your fiancé's generosity. You have been very generous to her with your money but she looks at your expensive ring and thinks how it could help others because she's someone who needs help. She was rude about your ring and judgmental. She apologized but the problem is now you know how she really feels and thinks. It's okay you uninvited her from the engagement party. She said she'll try to be bet
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  • 10
    Rectangle - ValTheDez • 16h NTA Enjoy your ring and congratulations! G Reply ...
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  • 11
    Rectangle - 1 Award I think you misjudged her character. She's using you to pay for what she can't, and has just decided to slice open her golden goose. NTA at all. Best be rid of her entirely. You are way too nice. G Reply 256 ...
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  • 12
    Font - Dalhara · 16h NTA-what she did is just as bad as ridiculing a less expensive ring as too cheap... And to say it to the friend that helps when needed....rude G Reply 金64
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  • 13
    Font - Cold-Release4985 · 15h NTA. Sounds like envy and jealousy. People like her will always blame others for their lot in life. Just stop being friends with her. She is clearly using you. I can't imagine accepting as many gifts or donations as she have from you. G Reply ...
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  • 14
    Font - nernernernerner • 13h ESH. So most of the people here think is fair that the friend thinks the amount spent in the ring is nuts, but she can't say it to her friend at all. I don't know what friendships you have but I don't want them, I like being able to talk with my friends sincerely and not being a hypocrite. The reason she was uninvited is clear: the words made the soon-to-be-bride feel shallow and guilty and they hurt. And they hurt because they are true. She might have been too aston
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  • 15
    Rectangle - Fisty_McQueen · 16h NTA. She was totally inappropriate in her comments. Her 'apology' followed with more negative comments. Stand by your decision, and congratulations on your engagement G Reply + ...
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  • 16
    Font - Ok-Communication-816 · 12h NTA and hold firm. A friend would want to share in your joy, not trample it. She is not a friend. G Reply 仓5
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  • 17
    Organism - NTA. I always hated people who comment what other people should spend with their money no matter how much said person has. IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. If someone is so concerned about that, they can donate their own money G Reply 金8 +
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  • 18
    Font - ESH. Your friend was way out of line, especially since she doubled down on the comment by revisiting it. But you say you hope the friendship doesn't end and that you can talk it out. The time to do that was before you uninvited her, which was a friendship-ending decision imho. If I were the 2 of you, l'd be dreading encountering each other at work from here on out. G Reply 4 146 3 ...
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aita marriage FAIL relationships ridiculous Reddit dramatic engagement ring
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